Do You Censor Yourself in Counselling?

If you’ve ever found yourself holding back in a counselling session, you’re not alone. It’s a common experience for people to censor themselves when speaking with a counsellor.

Whether it’s omitting details, sugarcoating a story, or avoiding certain topics altogether, censoring is a natural human response. But what causes this, and how might it affect the support you receive in counselling?

Why Do We Censor Ourselves?

Censoring can happen for many reasons:

1. Fear of Judgment: Even in a judgment-free zone like counselling, it’s natural to worry about how your thoughts or actions might be perceived.

2. Shame or Guilt: Talking about difficult experiences can bring up feelings of shame or guilt, leading to a reluctance to share.

3. Habitual People-Pleasing: Many of us are conditioned to prioritize how others feel, even to the point of avoiding topics that might be “uncomfortable” for the counsellor.

4. Uncertainty: Sometimes, we’re unsure if our thoughts or feelings are worth mentioning, so we hold back.

How Censoring Can Hinder Your Progress

Counselling is most effective when it’s grounded in honesty. When you censor yourself, you limit your counsellor’s ability to truly understand your experiences and support you effectively.

Here are some ways this can impact your progress:

• Incomplete Understanding: Your counsellor relies on the information you provide to guide the session. Holding back means they’re working with an incomplete picture.

• Missed Insights: What you think is “unimportant” or “not worth mentioning” could be a key piece of the puzzle.

• Delaying Breakthroughs: Avoiding uncomfortable topics can prolong the time it takes to reach significant milestones in your healing journey.

How to Overcome Censoring in Counselling

While censoring is a natural response, there are ways to work through it and create a more open and honest space in counselling:

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings: Start by admitting to yourself that you’re holding back. This self-awareness is the first step to change.

   
   

2. Bring It Up: Ironically, the act of censoring can itself be a topic to discuss in counselling. Sharing that you’re hesitant to open up can lead to a productive conversation about why.

   
   

3. Build Trust: If you’re new to counselling, it’s normal to feel guarded at first. Give yourself time to build trust with your counsellor.

   
   

4. Challenge Shame: Remind yourself that counselling is a space designed for you to share your thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. Your counsellor is there to support, not to criticize.

   
   

5. Journal Before Sessions: Writing down your thoughts beforehand can help you identify what you’re hesitant to talk about and why.

Remember: You’re Not Alone

Censoring yourself doesn’t mean you’re doing counselling “wrong.” It’s simply a reflection of being human. The important thing is to recognize it and take steps to work through it.

Counselling is a journey, and learning to be open and honest is part of the process. Trust that your counsellor is there to walk alongside you every step of the way.